The Substitute Diaries

Yesterday was Storybook Character Day at the elementary school where I've been working lately. It was so much fun. The teachers and staff dressed as storybook characters. Second and third grade students who met their reading goals for last six weeks also were allowed to dress as their favorite storybook character. Pre-K, kindergarten, and first grade students lined the hallways for the parade of storybook characters.

Here are a few of the outstanding characters I saw and the books they represented. I was delighted to hear the principal remind the students that many of their favorite movies were books long before they were movies.

School principal

Resource teacher

One of the first grade teachers

I'm pretty sure this is the school nurse.

Student teacher ... please make note of the fact that she is en pointe.

The office staff

There were several Cats in Hats and Things 1, Things 2, and probably enough to make it to Things 8 or 9.

These two little girls wore my favorite costumes of the day.

These are just a few of the other costumes that the kids wore.

After the parade, all the storybook characters met in the cafeteria where they were treated to a screening of Puss In Boots.

I love seeing kids who are excited about reading. This love of reading will serve them well for the rest of their lives. I know they will be in for a lifetime of enjoyment thanks to the encouragement and enthusiasm they get at this exemplary school.

The Substitute Diaries - Serendipity

On Wednesday Grams substituted for Ms. Story's second grade class. The night before, at the PTA meeting, the second grade had presented their annual program. So the next morning, they performed the program again for the entire school.

It was serendipity. There is little I love more in this world than primary school programs that include singing and dancing. This one did not disappoint. The theme was Surfin' Safari and it had everything ... hula girls in grass (plastic) skirts, sharks, straw hats, cardboard surfboards, leis, tropical flowers, limbo dancers and a few other things I probably don't remember. 

Fish

Leis, flowers & sunglasses

Hula dancers in grass skirts

Cardboard surfboards

The director of this musical extravaganza was Betty Murphy. Betty has been a PE teacher at our school district since my kids were in elementary school. You can just see her in the photo below leading the audience participation section of the program. She has been involved in these programs at least since My Favorite Christmas Pageant Ever which would have been sometime around 1986.

My favorite part of the program was Ms. Murphy's instructions to the students in the audience who were all primary school students. She spent the first few minutes explaining to them how an audience behaves. Her instructions included how to applaud properly, the importance of staying in your seat, and being respectful to the performers. She touched on how it's not polite to laugh if a performer makes a mistake and how proper audiences don't hoot and holler. I was very impressed.

She also took a moment to speak to the performers about the example they were setting for the other students. She explained that the kindergarteners and first graders would be learning how to put on a performance from watching them.

Grandad and I regularly attend live theater performances in Corpus Christi and occasionally in San Antonio.  I am often appalled at the lack of proper etiquette exhibited by audience members. I can only hope that these young people grow up to be proper theater patrons.

These photos were all taken with my HTC Evo Shift phone. Considering that I was sitting at the very back of the cafeteria, they're not too bad.

The Substitute Diaries - The Teacher Gets Schooled

My mother always told us that she had eyes in the back of her head. But I've learned that a substitute teacher must far surpass that standard, especially at the middle school level.

I've learned quite a few things since I started substitute teaching.

I can spot a teenage girl surreptitiously texting from her cell phone from way across the room. Honestly, do they think I don't know what they're doing when they sit with their hands in their purse?

The rattle of a candy or gum wrapper brings me to full attention. Likewise, I can hear a whisper all the way across a classroom.

I've learned which bells to ignore and which ones to heed. And I know where to go during a fire drill and what to take with me when evacuating the building.

I've learned that anytime a girl says she feels sick you should send her to the nurse's office as quickly as possible.

I've learned that it's okay to let a kid sleep through your class. It's the path of least resistance and sometimes that's the right choice.

I've learned that some teachers don't think substitutes are actually capable of teaching anything ... or they're just too lazy to put together a lesson plan.

During a test, I can spot a roving eye without even trying.

I've learned that, in the hands of a teenage boy, a rubber band is, at the very least, a huge distraction and, quite possibly, a weapon of mass destruction.

And pencils ... don't get me started on pencils. I could write volumes about pencils ... sharpening them ... coming to class without them ... breaking them ... stabbing people with them ... yes, I said stabbing. I once had a classroom of first graders who sharpened every pencil in the room (probably more than 40 total) down to less than two inches over a two-day period.

And along with pencils come sharpeners. Pencils and sharpeners are so abused and disruptive that I usually ban the use of electric sharpeners completely. If you must sharpen a pencil, you better be okay with using a small hand-held sharpener. That's all you're getting in my classroom.

And writing instruments in general ... I can't believe how many high school and middle school boys come to class without them day after day. Really, how do they expect to get any work done without anything to write with? Oh, I get it; that's the point isn't it?

There are things I say over and over again: Where are you going? Where are you supposed to be now? Do you really have to go? You're supposed to take care of your personal needs during passing period. Sit down! Stop talking! Turn around! Tuck in your shirt. I swear, some days it would be better for me if I just had a recording that would play these things continually over and over again. Sometimes I feel like the grand inquisitor.

I have also learned that the most powerful thing you can say to a kid is ... What is your name? Those four words, asked in a stern voice while making effective eye contact, strike fear into the heart of a kid. This is especially effective with boys ... for some reason they think you're going to leave the teacher a note with their name on it or write their name on a referral to the back office.

So, yes, I've learned a few things since I went "back to school."