This is About Weight Loss Surgery and Me

Last weekend Grams wrote a post about eating at a local restaurant where one of my son's best friends is the chef. In that post I noted that I had ordered the spicy fried shrimp. I didn't even think about the relationship between what I ordered for dinner and my weight loss surgery, but then I got a comment about my weight loss surgery and it made me think about my relationship with food and the "post-op life."

Before at 300 lbs. and after at 180 lbs.

Grams has a few things to say about weight loss surgery ... about my own weight loss surgery. I don't claim to be an expert nor to give advice to others about how to live their post-weight-loss-surgery life. This is about me and only me.

Four years ago this month I elected to take the drastic step of undergoing weight loss surgery. The procedure that my surgeon and I decided on is called a Roux-En-Y, commonly known as gastric bypass.

I am 5'1" tall and have struggled with my weight since I gained 79 pounds with my first pregnancy in 1979.  In June of 2006 I left a job I had held for 32 years under less than ideal circumstances. I was three years short of my planned retirement age, but I just couldn't take the new management.

At 52 years old I faced the daunting task of looking for a job while weighing in at 300 pounds. To describe my emotional state as devastated and depressed would be an understatement of monumental proportion. Frankly, I just couldn't do it. I could not bring myself to send out a single resume or make a single phone call. I simply could not do it!

If you've never been significantly overweight (aka morbidly obese) maybe you don't know how it feels. Sometimes I felt invisible ... like no one could see me past the fat. Conversely, sometimes I felt like the center of attention ... like the fattest person in any room that everyone was staring at. I was in constant pain from carrying all that extra weight on my knees. I could not stop eating. If a couple of Oreos were good ... the whole bag was better. If an ice cream cone sounded good ... a large Blizzard sounded better. I had absolutely no control over what I was putting in my body. I was also drinking about a case of 20-ounce Diet Cokes a week.

Let me also say that dieting actually worked for me. I lost weight successfully on almost every diet I ever tried ... and I tried 'em all. I was not one of the people who could not lose weight by dieting. The problem was that I could not sustain the loss and keep the weight off. I would go on a diet and lose a significant amount of weight. But after about three months I just couldn't take it any more and I would be off on a binge. By this time I had quit trying. Emotionally I just could not face another failure.

I don't really consider myself to be a goal-oriented person. I'm just not. It used to drive my bosses crazy. Remember, I worked in nonprofit fund-raising so I had solid measurable goals for how much money to raise from specific groups of people and how many new contributions I had to get every month. And I thought it was bullshit! I always did my best. Sometimes I made goal and sometimes I didn't ... and the world did not come to an end.

My surgeon didn't give me a stated goal for how much weight to lose and I considered that a plus. I chose this surgeon for several reasons. Besides his experience and positive track record. the fact that he told me his patients get their protein from real food not protein supplements was a deciding factor for me. He has now changed his tune and encourages his patients to drink 1-2 protein shakes a day to help maintain their weight loss.

My original idea was to get my weight down to around 150 pounds, which would still make me overweight. The ideal weight for someone who's 5'1" tall is some ridiculously low number between 106 and 118. I weighed exactly 118 when we married in 1975 and I've never seen that number again, nor do I expect to see it again. I never had in mind that weight loss surgery would make me skinny. I'm not skinny ... I've never been skinny ... I'm never going to be skinny ... and I'm okay with that!

So why did I have weight loss surgery? One word ... control! I had to be able to control my relationship with food. I'm not a perfect weight loss surgery patient.

• I don't use protein supplements very often and I'm much more likely to snack on a protein bar than to drink a protein shake. 
• I take my vitamin and mineral supplements religiously. I never miss them and my annual follow-up blood work has always been exemplary. 
• I eat normal food. 
• Sometimes I eat fried food. 
• I eat carbohydrates. THE HORROR! 
• I eat chocolate almost every day. I stick to dark chocolate and I don't eat much, but I'm not giving it up. Someday they'll have to pry it out of my cold dead hand.

The control I've gained with weight loss surgery allows me to eat more reasonably. I don't feel the need to eat a whole bag of Oreos, but I will occasionally eat two of them. And, yes, sometimes I order fried shrimp. But, where I used to eat a dozen fried shrimp, french fries, cole slaw, bread, and sometimes dessert; now I eat 3-4 fried shrimp, less than half of a baked potato and part of a salad. Sometimes we still order dessert. But we order one dessert with 5 spoons and pass it around.

Today I weigh 196 pounds, up from my post-surgery low of 175. But I'm happy and active and I don't obsess about how much I weigh. I cook good, healthy food at home almost every meal. We still eat out two or three times a week. I can go hiking, chase my grand-baby around all week, and ride my bicycle. I used to wear a size 26; now I wear a 14. 

If you had weight-loss surgery, you bought the package, and that includes taking the appropriate dietary supplements. Failing to take them is stupid and can be life threatening. Beyond that, it's really between you and your surgeon and your success or failure is in your own hands and for you to measure yourself.

For many people, the post weight loss life is a lifestyle. For some I would even say it's an obsession. They must reach goal ... they must maintain their weight loss ... they must be skinny ... they must never, ever eat carbohydrates ... they must do whatever it is they must do. And I say, "Good for them!" If that's what you want or need and you're willing to do the work, go get 'em and good on you! But that's not me. It's not what I want or need and it's not the life I choose. I got what I want out of my weight loss surgery. I got control! And, whatever it is you want, I hope that's what you get.

A Choice for Life

September 27 is a fairly uneventful day in history. In 1540, Saint Ignatius Loyola founded the Jesuits; in 1903, the wreck of the Old 97 occurred; in 1938, the Ocean Liner Queen Elizabeth was launched; in 1954, The Tonight Show debuted; in 1964, the Warren Commission released it's report on the assassination of JFK; in 1997, communications were lost with the Mars Pathfinder.

Famous people who celebrate their birthday on September 27 include Avril Lavigne, Wilford Brimley, Gwyneth Paltrow, Shaun Cassidy and Meat Loaf.

Grams celebrates September 27 as her re-birthday, known in the weight loss surgery world as my "surgiversary." On September 27, 2006 I had RNY gastric bypass surgery by Dr. Nilesh Patel at Innova Hospital in San Antonio. I am 3 years post-op, 115 pounds lighter and immeasurably healthier.

There were a number of things that led me to the decision to re-route my guts as a way to lose weight. I had recently been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. I had been taking medication to control my blood pressure for more than 15 years. I was faced with looking for a job at 52 years old and 300 pounds. But most of all I was tired of failing. I had tried every diet known to mankind. Just to name a few of them I had been on 1,000 calories a day, diet pills, Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach, Cabbage Soup, liquid protein, low carb, high fiber, and so on and so forth. Now it wasn't that these diets didn't work, because they did. I lost weight on every single one of them. But I could never keep it off for more than a few weeks. Mentally, I was a failure and I couldn't take it any more. I had completely given up dieting and was gaining weight at an alarming rate. I could not let myself fail again.

After my father-in-law's funeral, I had the opportunity to visit with a friend who had already had RNY Gastric Bypass surgery. He looked great and seemed healthy for the first time since I had known him. I owe T.J. a debt of gratitude because he opened up to me and answered all my questions. He helped me overcome my fear.

Contrary to what anyone may think, weight loss surgery is not the "easy way out." There's nothing easy about it. It's a difficult decision that forces dietary and lifestyle changes. While it does "re-plumb" your digestive system, it doesn't "re-wire" your brain. Just because you shouldn't eat large amounts of sugary and fatty food doesn't mean you don't want to. It just means that when you do it's going to make you sick. That's right, WLS patients who don't learn to eat right are in for a lifetime of "dumping syndrome" which includes such fun things as sweating, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, abdominal pain, cramping, fatigue, weakness, dizziness, shakiness, fainting and heart palpitations. Does that sound easy to you?

And trust me, there is a definite learning curve. About 8 weeks after surgery, I ate a meat pizza dish, which is an Atkins Diet recipe, and proceeded to vomit uncontrollably. I vomited so hard that I ruptured blood vessels in my face and got two black eyes. And, once, I absentmindedly ate a big piece of homemade carrot cake with cream cheese frosting and spent the next 2 hours laying on my neighbor's couch when I should have been playing bunco. There have been other occasions where I don't even know what made me sick. Something that's good today, might make me sick tomorrow. You just have to learn to know the signals that your body gives off.

Today, I weigh 184 pounds. My post-op low weight was 175. I regained about 15 pounds, which is totally normal. I have now lost 6 of those pounds and hope to get down to 150 pounds. I have not had any diabetes medications since surgery. The dosage of my blood pressure medication has been cut in half. I can walk more than 2 miles without any problem.

The reason I have been successful at this new lifestyle is the support I have received. My family has been amazing in their support. My husband, daughter and son have supported me unconditionally. They've been there for me through thick and thin. Pardon the pun.

For about 18 months I attended a monthly support group offered by my surgeon's office. My friends have been encouraging and supportive as well. Not one person has been disparaging about my decision to make this change. Even extended family has encouraged and supported me.

Shortly after surgery, my surgeon told me about an online support group at ObesityHelp.com. These women (and a few men) have made a huge difference in my life. Most of them are also post-ops. We have answered each other's questions, commiserated with each other, shared our stories, told of our failures and celebrated our victories. I turned to them for support when my husband was sick and my mother was dying. They are a great group of people from all walks of life who all share one thing in common. We were all morbidly obese, had weight loss surgery and found a new life. This past weekend I had the opportunity to meet many of them in person for the first time at an Obesity Help conference in Dallas. It was an exciting, educational, fun and renewing experience. This photo shows just a few of the OH Group who were in Dallas this weekend.


This picture will give you some idea of what I looked like pre-op. This is Grams and Grandad at a party celebrating our son's graduation from Texas A & M University. I weighed approximately 300 pounds.


This is a photo of Grams with her surgery twin, Terry, celebrating 3 years of post-op life. We had surgery on the same day in 2006; Terry in Alabama and me in Texas. We found each other at ObesityHelp.com on the Texas Message Board shortly after that.


These are my roommates from the 2009 Dallas OH Conference. From left to right: Grams, Dee, Sarah and Melanie. All post ops ranging from 10 days to 3 years. Dee and Melanie have only had surgery within the last few week.


Weight loss surgery isn't for everyone. It's hard work and you can never change your mind about the lifestyle changes. When you choose it, it's a choice for life, in every sense of the phrase. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Grams made it ... to a healthier and happier life.