Liver and Peas ... Like Mother, Like Daughter

Her Highness is five months old now and is eating baby food. As instructed by their pediatrician, they introduce one new food at a time over a period of several days before adding a new one.  This allows time for any food allergies or sensitivities to show up and be isolated quickly and easily. So far, so good.

When we were there a couple of weekends ago, it was time to introduce a new food. And the new food of the week was peas. Katy was cooking dinner so she handed me the container and asked if I would mind feeding Her Highness. She's not quite sitting up without support yet, so we put her in the Bebepod chair and set her on top of the dining room table. I'll get back to this story in a minute, but first let me give you a little background.

Flashback about 30 years to Katy at about the same age, sitting in another infant seat on another dining room table with her dad feeding her. She's been eating for a while now. As a matter of fact, back then, we started feeding babies cereal at about six weeks old. But on this day, she was about four or five months old. She had already been eating different kinds of cereals, fruits, and vegetables. We had recently introduced baby food meats, chicken, beef, pork, all ground to complete mush, with limited success. She ate them less than enthusiastically. But on this night her dad had decided that she should try liver. Yep, that's right, they actually make baby food liver. GROSS!

(As an aside here, let me just tell you that Grams doesn't eat liver. I don't like the taste and the texture is yucky. Because of my distaste for liver, I would never offer it to anyone, but especially not to my precious baby girl.)

Dad took the spoon, dipped it into the baby food jar, and gave Katy a bite. She took it on her tongue and closed her mouth. He turned around and gave me a self-satisfied look as he said "See I told you she would like it."  Just about the time he turned back around to give her another bite, Katy opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out. The spoonful of liver was still sitting atop her tongue. She proceeded to scrape her tongue across her top gums, pushing all the liver off and out of her mouth where it then plopped onto her bib. She then closed her mouth and with great determination refused to take another bite. I had to retreat to the kitchen because I was laughing hysterically and trying not to say "I told you so."

Now, back to Her Highness perched atop the dining room table in her chair. I dip my spoon into the container of baby food peas and give HH her first taste of peas. And, you guessed it, she spit it right out. I tried again, and she took it tentatively before spitting it out again. On the third bite I could tell that she was tasting it and testing it and she swallowed it. But I don't think she really liked it.

Parenting has changed a lot in the thirty or so years since Grams and Grandad were starting out with babies. Parents today seem so much more knowledgeable than we were. And there are so many more gadgets and goodies. Our granddaughters eat organic and often homemade food. We'd never even heard of organic food and, in our day, only the most fanatical moms made their own baby food.

What are the biggest changes you've seen in parenting babies?

The Naughty Mat

Grams recently spent nine days in San Antonio at the home of Our Little Princess. As I'm sure you'll recall, I was there for the birth of Baby Sister. This gave me the opportunity to spend a lot of time with Our Little Princess.

The Naughty Mat

Now, as her Grams it is my opinion that, like Mary Poppins, she is practically perfect in every way. But, as with any child, from time-to-time her parents must offer a little instruction and discipline. They use a "time out" system and since she's two-years-old, time out lasts two minutes. They use a kitchen timer and a "naughty mat."

The naughty mat sits in the hallway right at the entrance to the kitchen. It actually works amazingly well. I didn't think that a time out would actually work for a 2-year-old but it does, with the possible exception of when Grams is in residence.

One night just as we were sitting down for dinner, Our Little Princess was sent to the naughty mat. Honestly, I don't remember what the infraction was, but I do remember that she was told to stop doing something and didn't stop. After she had been told a couple of times by both of her parents, she was sent to the naughty mat for her two minute time out. Now, usually when she's sent to the naughty mat, she just walks over and sits down, but on this occasion she refused to go on her own so Katy picked her up, carried her the few feet to the mat and plopped her down. As mom turned her back to set the timer, we all heard Our Little Princess say quite firmly "I WANT MY GRAMS!"

Our Little Princess

Mom walked back to the table and sat down while we all tried not to laugh. Katy said "She might as well have said 'Id like to speak to my attorney'." At this point we all gave up trying to hold it in and just busted out laughing.

There was also a second incident which again took place at the dining table. Again, I don't recall the specific infraction, but it quickly escalated into Our Little Princess having a full blown meltdown in her seat at the table. This time her dad asked, "Do you want to go to your naughty mat?" We were all amused when she responded "Yes!" and got up, walked over to her naughty mat, and sat down. As we all sat at the table slightly in shock, it suddenly got very quiet. When we looked over at her she was methodically removing her shoes and socks. After that she just sat there quietly for a couple of minutes. When her mom asked if she was ready to come back to the table, she quietly came back to the table and ate her dinner without further incident.

I must say, it's so much more fun to watch my kids deal with their kids than it was to deal with my own kids.

They're Supposed to Leave

Many years ago, when we were new parents we had to take a class before our babies could be baptized. In one of those classes, a very wise priest gave us some valuable advice. Here is the gist of it. Being parents is important and will be all consuming for a long time. Never forget that some day this child will grow up and leave you. That's what they're supposed to do. The relationship that must survive is the relationship with your spouse. Be sure you take care of that relationship. When this child grows up and leaves you, and it will grow up and leave you, make sure you still have a relationship with your spouse.

You may have guessed by now, Grams and her Darling Husband, aka Grandad, are empty nesters. Our two chicks flew the coop long ago.

We started our family about 4 years after we married. Our eldest was born in 1979 and our baby in 1981. In 1984, when our oldest was about to start school, we moved to Calallen because we knew they had great schools. Our little neighborhood is located at the very back of the subdivision and there is only one way in and out. Many of us have lived here for more than 20 years. It was a great place to raise our kids. They could never do anything that the neighbors didn't tell us about, usually before they got home. We all watched out for each other's kids. My sister says Calallen is like Stepford for people with kids. We're all wrapped up in our kids' school and extra-curricular activities. We love that aspect of living here.

For the next 20 years we wholeheartedly embraced raising kids. If our kids were involved in anything, we were there. We coached youth sports, we sat through hundreds (maybe even thousands) of practices, we taught religious education, we joined the PTA, we were officers in booster clubs, we worked concession stands, we sold candy and raffle tickets. We went to hundreds of basketball games, football games, baseball games, soccer games, track meets and kickball games. Whatever they did, we did. You get the picture. Our kids were our whole world.

Fast forward to 2000 when our baby left for college. When our kids left home, so did our social life. Everything we had been involved in was finished. Couple this with the fact that our best friends, who coincidentally were married to each other, got a divorce at about this time. We literally had lost our best friends. We sat down in the living room, looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders. What do we do now?

We've never had what I would consider a lot of friends. Most of our friends were people we knew through our kids. Basically, we have always done everything together as a couple. After a few weeks of feeling sorry for ourselves, we realized that something had to change and, if it was going to change, we had to change it.

It took a while, but we overcame. We re-instituted date night. Once a week we go out together. On Friday nights, instead of the football or basketball games, we go out to dinner with a group of neighbors. Thursday night has become pizza night. We either order delivery or go to a local pizza place with friends. Sunday after church we often go out for brunch with family. And we've become movie fanatics. Most weekends will find us, often with brother and sister-in-law, at our local movie theater taking in the newest release.

I won't kid you. My kids leaving home was one of the most difficult things I've endured. I cried all the way home from UTSA when we took our oldest child to school. I wept like a baby when I scraped the He-Man and Rainbo Brite stickers from the windows in their bedrooms. I miss going to high school basketball games. But I've grown to love it. That's right, I love my empty nest. It definitely has it's advantages. I've converted one of the bedrooms into my own sewing, craft and computer room. I've remodeled the kid's bathroom for myself, complete with a crystal chandelier. Having no kids at home has many advantages. Grandad will eat whatever I cook with no complaints ... and I hardly ever have to yell at him to turn the stereo down.