It's the Merry-Hearted Boys Who Make the Best Men

Grams has told you about many of the women on my walk. Now I want you to get to know my son Nick. Watching him turn into the man he is today has been one of the biggest joys of my life.

As a youngster he was always the class clown and had a reputation for disrupting class and giving teachers a hard time. He worked hard to overcome that and has grown into a good and decent man mostly through his own sheer will and determination, and his father's prayers. He managed to overcome a learning disability and earned two college degrees at the same time. He holds a Bachelor of Arts in General Studies from Schreiner University and a Bachelor of Science in Mechanical Engineering and Industrial Technology from Texas A&M University. He earned both of them at the same time and played collegiate basketball and golf. He knew from the beginning that he wanted to be an engineer and he set his mind and focus on it and never stopped.

He has a natural athletic ability that was evident from a very early age. He learned to dribble a basketball about the same time he learned to walk.  And he's good at almost any sport he tries. He likes movies and video games.

He is kind and will never stand by silently and watch injustice. He stands up for what is right and decent. But he won't back down from a fight. When necessary he will stand up for himself, but never without fair warning. He once warned a guy in a bar who was trying to pick a fight with him "I have ADD and I'm off my meds. If I fight you I will not be able to stop."

The ease with which he understands advanced mathematics has always amazed me. (When my kids were in school, I was disappointed to discover that I don't know how to do fourth grade math.) He has an analytical mind and takes the time to mull things over and see them from different points of view. He's fair minded and a good friend. He has a large group of friends that he's been close to for years, some of them since nursery school.

He was always the sweetest child. He was the little boy who would pick flowers and bring them to me. When he was about seven years old he decided to run away from home. He only went as far as the corner of the driveway where he sat for hours tossing stones at the front door. He was always a cuddly baby and loved to sit on my lap and be rocked. When he was well into his teens, he would still occasionally drop his 6'2" body into my lap and wrap his arms around me. 

Like most parent and child relationships we had our problems. Against our advice and wishes, he withdrew from Schreiner at mid-term of his first year, walked away from his scholarship and basketball team, and transferred to Blynn Junior College in College Station to be near a girlfriend. When she broke up with him a couple of weeks later he was devastated and depressed. But after that semester he went back to Schreiner and completed his studies there. He even went back to the coach and got his position back on the basketball team. That made me very proud and gave me a glimpse of the man he would become.

The day Grandad had his heart surgery he was a rock. After everyone else had left that day, when our nerves were stretched taut after waiting for hours and hours, he walked through the restricted doors right to the coronary ICU nurses' station. He told the nurse straight out that we'd been there for more than 15 hours, we'd been told several hours earlier that we'd be able to see him soon, and then we had heard nothing more. He explained that we just needed them to tell us one way or the other. It would be fine if we weren't able to see him, but his Mom needed to go eat some dinner and get some rest. Like magic, the doors were opened and we were taken to see him.

He chose a wife who's just as smart as he is. Marie holds the same degree from TAMU that he does. And, did I mention that she's a beauty queen? She holds her own with him and doesn't take any crap from him ... and he likes that about her. He proposed to her at her graduation, in front of a packed house at Reed Arena. It was one of the sweetest and most romantic things I've ever seen. I was moved to tears and honored to be there.

I'm so proud of him and the life they are building together. They're not yet 30 years old and own a beautiful home in Houston. They both have good jobs and are building a solid life together. When I think of Nick, I think of the old Irish proverb -- "It's the merry-hearted boys who make the best men."

Thanks for the Memories and Happy Mother's Day

My children have given me many gifts since I became a mom more than 30 years ago. I've gotten many of your standard Mother's Day gifts including flowers, candy, jewelry, clothes and perfume. But of all the things my children have given me, the best gift of all is a lifetime of memories.

I've heard it said that being a Mom is the toughest job you'll ever love.  Whoever said that knew what they were talking about.  I love being a Mom.  But there were times when it was tough, tougher than I ever expected it to be.  There are good times and bad times.  Thank God, the good times far outweigh the bad.

Over the past 30 years I've experienced millions of momentary miracles and equally as many moments that made me wonder what the hell I was thinking when I decided to have these kids.

Those miraculous moments were sometimes followed by real downers. The thrill of holding my babies in my arms for the first time was followed by six weeks of postpartum blues while I thought about how having a baby may have ruined my life. While I tried to follow everyone's advice to "sleep when the baby sleeps" moronic telemarketers called trying to sell life insurance for our new little bundle of joy.

The hours of walking the floors all night with a colicky baby were quickly erased by baby's first smile.  Our first child slept all night by the time she was six weeks old.  I remember waking up that first morning and being absolutely convinced that she must have died in her sleep.  On the other hand, our second child never slept all night until he was five years old.  That's right, I said NEVER.  Not one full night of sleep in five years.  I would be trying to put him back to bed while choking back tears of exhaustion.  Seriously, I used to cry while praying for a full night of sleep.  

There were tiny little miracles like watching her curl her tiny little toes in the sand for the first time; followed shortly thereafter by her looking around the beach, turning up her nose, saying "dirty" and refusing to budge another inch.  She climbed right back into the car and refused to walk on the beach or go in the water.  Years later as a teenager, we always knew where to find her in the summer.  She was at the beach!

I especially loved it when my kids laughed.  There is something so innocent about how babies giggle.  And I fondly remember them standing in their cribs in the mornings sweetly calling "Ma-ma" over and over again in their little bitty voices.  A few short years later, that sweet smiling "Ma-ma" became "MOTHER!" while they rolled their teenaged eyes.

My children are vastly different.  She's a brown-eyed red-head.  He's blond with blue eyes.  She's always been quiet and introspective.  His personality is larger than life.  She's artistic and bookish.  He's mathematically inclined and sports crazy.  She's all about being organic and natural.  He loves things that are shiny and new. 

They have both always been very healthy and both are athletic.  They both played basketball from third grade all the way through high school.  He went on to play collegiate ball.  Some of my fondest memories are of sitting in the bleachers at the gym or a track meet.  She had to be dragged into her first year of "little dribblers" and didn't learn to love it until she had coaches who saw her potential and worked to develop her skills.  It came naturally to him.  He could dribble and shoot by the time he was five.  Seriously, he provided halftime entertainment at her little dribbler games.  As soon as the whistle blew, he was on the floor shooting from half-court and practically doing a dribbling demonstration.  Sports kept them grounded and provided them with a like-minded group of friends.  In the off-season they both played on AAU select teams which kept all of us busy and broke.   Both of them still remain active, enjoying bicycling, running, walking, yoga and basketball.

I remember how our daughter tried to hide her disappointment when her Dad bought her a used Ford Festiva as her first car.  She knew she should be grateful, but it was hard when several of her friends were driving shiny brand new cars.  But she made the best of it, thanked us graciously and never complained about being expected to drive her brother to wherever he needed to go.

Both of my children are unfailingly kind.  During his kindergarten class play the students were dressed as jacks-in-the-box.  When the little girl next to him knocked her box over, fell and started crying, he knocked his own box over so she wouldn't be the only one.

Then there was watching our second child mope around the house because he missed his older sister who had been gone away to college for a mere three months.  This after at least five years of them not being able to stand the site of each other.  It was amazing to watch the two of them run into each other's arms the first time they saw each other again.

I was proud of both of them when they graduated from high school and again when they both were awarded their bachelor's degrees.  I was even prouder to see both of them marry good and decent mates and begin families of their own.

I was so excited when she called me to tell me of her engagement and it was such an honor to be present when our son proposed to his future wife in front of her Aggie graduating class.  And there is nothing at all that can compare to witnessing the birth of your grandchild.  Just the knowledge that she wanted me there, in that room with her, was so touching.

Once, as a teenager, when she was annoyed that I had to know where she was going and when she'd be home, my daughter asked me why I cared so much. I firmly believe that my answer that day was inspired.  I told her, "You are my life's work. You are what God has given me to do. That's why I care so much." Honestly, it just popped into my head. And I still believe it. These children are my life's work.

Happy Mother's Day to all Moms, especially to my daughter!  And to my kids ... thanks for the memories.